


First Time

by Izzy_Valentyn



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, First Time, I feel like it's like a 60/40 angst-smut ratio, Light Angst, Smut, but I dunno, it's definitely something and I had a lot of feelings writing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 03:20:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11199402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzy_Valentyn/pseuds/Izzy_Valentyn
Summary: Just something I wrote for a friend. It was supposed to be more smutty, but alas.Sorry for any typos - I read over it a few times but I always miss things ^^'





	First Time

            Their first kiss had been careful, hesitant. Kaz remembered feeling his skin crawl, having the overwhelming desire to push Inej away. They had touched – hugged – before, but kissing was different. For whatever reason, even though it was with her, it still set off the same panic response touching a stranger did. Because of this, the kiss had been brief.

            After the first, it got easier. The need to pull away, to shove her back faded and his skin stopped crawling. If anything, he wanted her closer, as if she was a salve for the heat that flooded him when their lips touched.

            Things escalated, as they do – shirts came off; touches grew heavier, hotter; lips wandered... He had gotten her off, growing used to touching, exploring her much faster than he got used to being touched. But he usually stopped them from going much farther. He hated himself for it, for making her deflate ever so slightly every single time, for disappointing her even though she’d insist that she wasn’t disappointed.

            “You’re making progress,” she’d gently remind him when he’d voice his frustration. “Things can’t change overnight.”

            And he knew she was right, but he also felt like almost a year was too long for him to not have...

            He just wanted to give her everything she deserved, and this probably wasn’t the most important thing, but it was one of the only things left and he wanted to do it for her all the same.

 

            Inej felt Kaz tense as she started working at his belt – she immediately started backing off, but Kaz caught her hands, breaking their kiss to shake his head a little. “It’s okay,” he murmured, willing his body to relax.

            “You don’t have to...” she answered, holding his gaze with an ease not many people could manage.

            He closed his eyes briefly and took a breath. “I want to – really,” he added firmly when she opened her mouth to speak again. “If I can’t handle it, I’ll let you know. Promise. I just want to try.”

            She looked at him a moment longer before nodding once and undoing his belt. She closed the distance between them and kissed him again.

            He returned it, his hands resuming what they had been doing under her shirt, drawing a soft, pleased sigh from her. She pulled away so she could pull it off and his lips traveled from her lips, across her jaw, down to one of her breasts.

            Her hands ran along his front slowly before – hesitantly – settling on the front of his pants. When Kaz didn’t tense up, she moved a hand inside and stroked him slowly.

            He paused then – the horror warring with the pleasure. _It’s Inej,_ he reminded himself, fighting back the images of the bodies of the dead around him, touching him. _Inej is very much alive, she’s clean, this is fine_. He relaxed, giving a small moan and moving his hips up to meet her hand, encouraging her to keep going.

            He fell into the rhythm of it easily, slipping a hand into her pants and matching the pace, his remaining unease falling away at the sound of her moan. After The Laugh, her moans were his favorite sound – especially when he was causing them. Inej had a certain amount of control over herself, but the moans, like The Laugh, came so naturally.

            She settled on his lap, their hands working between them, their bodies meeting and retreating, meeting, retreating...

            “Kaz...” Inej breathed.

            “Mm...?” His forehead rested against hers, his breath coming quickly – not panicked, just desperate.

            “Can I?”

            Kaz didn’t show the anxiety, his occupied hand doing what it was going – albeit slower – and his free hand traveled up her bare thigh ( _when had they gotten out of their pants?_ )

            “Yes,” he said, surprised when his voice didn’t betray him.

            “Kaz?”

            “What?”

            “I got you.”

            He bit his lip a little, every bit the naïve little boy he had been so many years ago, and nodded.

            She moved his hands to her hips and guided him into her slowly.

            Kaz braced himself for the panic, but it still surprised him when it hit. How quickly it all came back.

            He took in a sharp breath and just froze, his face going blank. His heartbeat thundered in his ears, the world – Inej – fading.

            Inej didn’t move, didn’t dare without his explicit permission. Instead, she took his face in her hands, feeling him begin to tremor ever so slightly. His breathing was shallow, quick, as if he was running a marathon.

            She murmured his name softly, holding his gaze even though the essence of him was far gone. “Kaz, it’s okay. It’s me, you’re okay.” No kisses, no extra touches, just her voice. Soft, soothing. “Come back to me, I’ve got you.”

            It took a while – calming him down always did – but he did snap back, taking a deeper breath.

            “Are you sure, Kaz? We could stop, there’s nothing wrong with that...”

            “Yes, Inej.”

            She took one of his hands and wove their fingers together as she rolled her hips slowly. He squeezed her hand gently and moaned quietly, mostly to reassure her, when she did it again.

            “Is that good?” She asked.

            “Better than good,” he murmured. He was still slightly on edge, a part of him needing to push back, to get clean; but it grew quieter with every move Inej made, every moan that left him. This _was_ good. Everything about this was good because he never wanted to do it with anyone else – couldn’t even imagine...

            “I love you.” The words left him after a _very_ genuine moan. He had said the words before, but only when Inej was distracted or asleep. Never when she could hear them.

            Inej’s rhythm faltered a little. “Come again?”

            “Wouldn’t I need to come a first time?” He smirked a little, squeezing her ass teasingly.

            She stopped altogether, drawing a very un-Kaz-like sound of protest.

            “You didn’t know? You wouldn’t be here –” a perfunctory thrust of his hips, causing a very similar sound to come out of Inej “- If I didn’t.”

            “I thought I’d never hear it.” She wound her fingers into his hair, rocking her hips again. “I love you too, Kaz Brekker.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I wrote for a friend. It was supposed to be more smutty, but alas.
> 
> Sorry for any typos - I read over it a few times but I always miss things ^^'


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